My Rainbow

So, lately I've been under a cloud of "what if?" What if we have another baby? What if we put the boys in public school? What if we move and downsize to save money? What if my business grows? What if I quit my job to spend more time with my kids? What if Brock gets accepted to business school at Stanford and we move there?

It's exhausting. I'm not naturally adventurous, so all this unknown is making me nauseous, to be honest. What's really bothering me is how NOT okay I am with the possibly of a new season. You'd think I'd be excited, but I'm not. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decisions and possibly screwing my kids up forever. Sometimes I feel like I'm already doing this.

So, we were on a walk to go have lunch today and I was mentally having myself a good ol' pity party. Then I looked up and saw this:

My rainbow. It's like there little faces were saying, "Mommy, we're fine. And happy. See?"
Some guy literally walked pass me and said, "You're children are really wonderful. Good job, Mom." I think he was an angel. I really needed that.

I don't know, I guess it made me realize that the fact that I even care about screwing up my kids makes me a good mom. I need to learn to trust myself.

-Ash