No baby, for now...

Handmade dress found here.

We have decided not to have a baby right now. That's because every choice we could possibly make in life is up in the air. The tornado that is our world right now is no place for a wee one.

It's a bittersweet choice. I already had an entire pinterest board dedicated to "Pickle #3". I was really looking forward to that sweet smell of a newborn nuzzled in my chest. And, okay I'll say it, I was hoping for a girl to dress up and parade around. But, at this point in life, I wouldn't be able to enjoy any of that.

 I know it's not the most popular choice, but we have to do what's best for our family. Like my hubby says, "It's not never. Just not now."

Whatever : (

-Ash

Sweet Tooth (Fairy)

Ellington lost his tooth yesterday and then lost (misplaced) it. I guess The Tooth Fairy was feeling generous.

Here's to childhood.

-Ash

My Rainbow

So, lately I've been under a cloud of "what if?" What if we have another baby? What if we put the boys in public school? What if we move and downsize to save money? What if my business grows? What if I quit my job to spend more time with my kids? What if Brock gets accepted to business school at Stanford and we move there?

It's exhausting. I'm not naturally adventurous, so all this unknown is making me nauseous, to be honest. What's really bothering me is how NOT okay I am with the possibly of a new season. You'd think I'd be excited, but I'm not. I'm so afraid of making the wrong decisions and possibly screwing my kids up forever. Sometimes I feel like I'm already doing this.

So, we were on a walk to go have lunch today and I was mentally having myself a good ol' pity party. Then I looked up and saw this:

My rainbow. It's like there little faces were saying, "Mommy, we're fine. And happy. See?"
Some guy literally walked pass me and said, "You're children are really wonderful. Good job, Mom." I think he was an angel. I really needed that.

I don't know, I guess it made me realize that the fact that I even care about screwing up my kids makes me a good mom. I need to learn to trust myself.

-Ash

Back....again... for real.

So, I've spent months trying to figure out how to make this blog personal and profitable. I can't do it. Period. I already have too many jobs.

Now, I finally (selfishly) decided to use this blog the way a blog was intended: to log my life's journey. Especially with homeschooling and business and more business and singing and family, and and and... it's easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget the details. It will be nice to have a diary of sorts to look back on. Especially for the kids.

So if you're interested in my personal life (not!) than read on... I hope that some of my bantering will be unintentionally inspirational. : )

Backyard Guilt

Hi All. Do you remember when I was complaining about my expensive townhouse? Well, the truth is, we love it here, so I think we'll make it work. The only thing I don't love is that we have a little front yard/patio and that's it- no backyard. And I feel guilty about that. A lot. I guess that just the perks of being a mom- the loads and loads of guilt.

So here's a list of 10 fun things I found to do in a little yard/patio/community lawn, to make myself feel more grateful. I hope you feel better, too.

Paint

Picnic

Stargaze



















Raised-Bed Gardening

Outdoor Storytime

Build a Cardboard- Anything

Outdoor Jenga?!

Make And Sell Stuff (or just pretend!)

Candlelight Dinner

 

 Take In A Movie (if there's an outlet, there's a way...)

  

Have fun in your wee little space!

-Ash

PS All photos swiped from pinterest. Fantastic ideas for an outdoor movie night here.

quick tips

Fun. Easy. Yummy. Healthy. That's my kinda cookin'!

Here's a recipe for homemade whole wheat tortillas!

You can buy 100% whole wheat tortillas, but these are so easy and fun to make. Use these tortillas for a veggie wrap or for chips with salsa.

Ingredients:
2     cups whole wheat flour
½     teaspoon salt
2     tablespoons olive oil
½     cup warm water
Preparation:

1. Mix flour and salt in bowl.
2. Add olive oil and stir until well combined.
3. Add warm water 1 tablespoon at a time until the mixture starts to pull away from the sides of the bowl.
4. Knead dough on floured board for about 3 minutes (20 folds).
5. Allow dough to rest for 15 minutes (this is called resting)
6. Roll dough into sausage-shape and then cut into 12 equal parts (cut in half, then in half again, then each part into thirds) and shape into little ball
7. With a rolling pin, roll each little ball into a tortilla (for best results, roll out from the center and outward).
8. Heat a skillet over medium heat. Fry the tortillas  in a dry stick-free pan for about 30 seconds on each side for soft tortillas or longer for crisp tortillas.
9. Keep tortillas warm by placing in a tortilla holder or wrap in a kitchen towel

Yield: Makes 12 tortillas

Swimming Pools, Movie Stars

A moment of honesty:

So, we live in the perfect neighborhood. The design of our townhouse is exactly our style. There is just enough space for us, plenty of room to entertain, walking distance to our favorite shops, voted safest city in America- the list goes on...

So what's the problem? IT COSTS A ZILLION DOLLARS TO LIVE HERE! (i'm exaggerating. a little.)

It's not that we can't afford it. It's just that we have dreams that need tending to. (business, travel, growing our family, home ownership, giving)

So we're literally at a crossroads.  Live a cushy life or follow your dreams. What would you do?